Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
you > me
I hate feeling like long hair = the secret to being beautiful, but I really feel like it is.
Ugh, I hate the way I look! ):
Ugh, I hate the way I look! ):
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I miss Ate Aileen
Disbelief.
Anytime something sad happens in my life, even if it's incredibly minor, I think about her and it makes everything worse. I still cry at night, I can't believe she's gone.
Anytime something sad happens in my life, even if it's incredibly minor, I think about her and it makes everything worse. I still cry at night, I can't believe she's gone.
saying sorry isn't always right
I'm using up all my 9 lives. Sorry doesn't cut it anymore. I am sick of myself, I need a change.
I don't know why, but I'm suddenly very insecure. I think I need to cut my hair or lose weight or something. Thursday or Friday, I'm running at Benicia State Park. No more excuses! My life has become a routine of school, home, eat, sleep, homework, sleep. I see my brother after he works out and he looks so juiced, I remember that feeling during tennis. Ughhhh, I need a change. I'm going to make a change (:
Simon Cowell has white ass teeth, I'm jealous!
I don't know why, but I'm suddenly very insecure. I think I need to cut my hair or lose weight or something. Thursday or Friday, I'm running at Benicia State Park. No more excuses! My life has become a routine of school, home, eat, sleep, homework, sleep. I see my brother after he works out and he looks so juiced, I remember that feeling during tennis. Ughhhh, I need a change. I'm going to make a change (:
Simon Cowell has white ass teeth, I'm jealous!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Time for a long one
My blogs lately have consisted of short, incoherent rambling about things that are just aren't happy. Believe it or not, I am happy.. to an extent. I am happy to be alive, happy to be healthy (altho a little fat now), happy to have a loving boyfriend and family, basically happy to be happy.
Winter break was a much needed time out from the stresses of school, grades, and the future. The first week of break was a little unbearable due to the removal of my wisdom teeth and my restraint from eating anything remotely tough. The second week was a little better, I was able to hang out with Aus a whole lot <3 and even had Christie over regularly to hang out. Break also allowed me to venture on my first solo freeway drive all the way up to my sister's place in Sacramento. I was satisfied with myself by the end of our two weeks altho I wouldn't mind a little more.
Unfortunately, break also brought many painful and remorseful tears due to the passing of my cousin Ate Aileen. For those of you who didn't know, she had been suffering from Ovarian Cancer for almost an entire year and passed on this New Years Eve. Her death .. hit everyone very hard. Not only was she merely 35 years old, but she was also newly married, trying to have children, and the most kick ass cousin that anyone would be lucky to know. I still find myself tearing up at any lonesome moment I'm able to think about her. She was a true fighter, free spirit, and inspiration to me. I miss her so much.. rest in peace Ate Aileen, we love you.
Sorry, I guess there was a little unhappiness in this blog.
Anyway, school is back in session and I have made a pact with myself that I WILL NOT SLACK this semester. College applications are right around the corner and I need to start working my ass off to get acceptances. Classes have been alright so far. The only class I truly can not stand is Ms. Hill's. I've already gotten an assignment thrown away for not having my name on it, and an X along side 50 sentences for not bringing my book to class.. What a dumb bitch. I honestly don't think I'm even going to go to her stupid ski trip this year. Over a hunny dollars to go to the snow with her? I can wait until the Senior Snow Trip. I feel hard at work already throughout these two days of school. I'm taking notes in APUSH again, allowing no room for missing work; doing my chemistry homework at home and abiding by her agenda and not my own; sitting in the front of the class in pre-cal and trying my best to stay awake; getting the backdrop and prices put together for prom '10 (DCT + SS ... it's coming); and starting early on my newsletter for multimedia, trying to earn a spot in Mr. Muster's hard drive as an example of excellence on on projects. Everything is good and hopefully it stays good. Expecting either drama club, badminton, kickboxing, a job, or tutoring in the near future.
Winter break was a much needed time out from the stresses of school, grades, and the future. The first week of break was a little unbearable due to the removal of my wisdom teeth and my restraint from eating anything remotely tough. The second week was a little better, I was able to hang out with Aus a whole lot <3 and even had Christie over regularly to hang out. Break also allowed me to venture on my first solo freeway drive all the way up to my sister's place in Sacramento. I was satisfied with myself by the end of our two weeks altho I wouldn't mind a little more.
Unfortunately, break also brought many painful and remorseful tears due to the passing of my cousin Ate Aileen. For those of you who didn't know, she had been suffering from Ovarian Cancer for almost an entire year and passed on this New Years Eve. Her death .. hit everyone very hard. Not only was she merely 35 years old, but she was also newly married, trying to have children, and the most kick ass cousin that anyone would be lucky to know. I still find myself tearing up at any lonesome moment I'm able to think about her. She was a true fighter, free spirit, and inspiration to me. I miss her so much.. rest in peace Ate Aileen, we love you.
Sorry, I guess there was a little unhappiness in this blog.
Anyway, school is back in session and I have made a pact with myself that I WILL NOT SLACK this semester. College applications are right around the corner and I need to start working my ass off to get acceptances. Classes have been alright so far. The only class I truly can not stand is Ms. Hill's. I've already gotten an assignment thrown away for not having my name on it, and an X along side 50 sentences for not bringing my book to class.. What a dumb bitch. I honestly don't think I'm even going to go to her stupid ski trip this year. Over a hunny dollars to go to the snow with her? I can wait until the Senior Snow Trip. I feel hard at work already throughout these two days of school. I'm taking notes in APUSH again, allowing no room for missing work; doing my chemistry homework at home and abiding by her agenda and not my own; sitting in the front of the class in pre-cal and trying my best to stay awake; getting the backdrop and prices put together for prom '10 (DCT + SS ... it's coming); and starting early on my newsletter for multimedia, trying to earn a spot in Mr. Muster's hard drive as an example of excellence on on projects. Everything is good and hopefully it stays good. Expecting either drama club, badminton, kickboxing, a job, or tutoring in the near future.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
everything seems so stupid...
to me now. Everything, everyone, I just can't seem to care about it as much only because there are much more important things to be concerned about. I'm not looking forward to this week because it's only going to make me have to face reality. Take my mind off of it all. Call me, please.
Friday, January 1, 2010
I can't...
be alone. All I want to do is cry every chance I get time to myself. I look at my bracelet and feel so pained. There are no words to describe this feeling. Fuck
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